World Mental Health Day: The Invisible Wounds of Domestic Violence on Survivors, Children, and Pets

Today, on World Mental Health Day, we at Control Alt Delete are focusing on the unseen emotional and psychological effects domestic violence has on Survivors, their children, and even pets. While escaping abuse is a crucial first step, the trauma doesn’t end when a Survivor walks away. Often, the mental health challenges continue, and for many, they are compounded by post-separation abuse—a form of control that can last for years.

The Lasting Impact on Survivors

Survivors of domestic violence endure more than the immediate physical and emotional abuse. The long-term psychological effects can include post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, and profound feelings of isolation. Abusers often manipulate their victims into believing they are worthless or incapable of surviving on their own. These deeply ingrained beliefs take time, patience, and professional help to unlearn.

Even after leaving, Survivors may feel emotionally paralyzed by flashbacks, nightmares, and a constant state of hypervigilance. Abusers use this mental and emotional damage to their advantage, continuing to control Survivors long after they’ve physically escaped. Post-separation abuse—which includes harassment, manipulation through shared custody, or financial sabotage—can make it feel like the abuse never truly ended. This ongoing harassment keeps Survivors trapped in a cycle of fear and anxiety, undermining their mental health and ability to rebuild their lives.

For those who suffer from Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) due to their trauma, maintaining healthy relationships becomes an even greater challenge. This condition, caused by prolonged emotional neglect or trauma, can lead Survivors to abruptly cut off relationships or push others away in a desperate attempt to protect themselves from further pain.

Post-Separation Abuse: A Lingering Threat

Abusers often use post-separation abuse to maintain power over their victims, even after the relationship ends. This form of abuse can take many shapes, such as:

• Legal harassment: Filing false police reports, dragging out court cases, or manipulating custody battles to wear down the Survivor.
• Emotional manipulation: Threats of self-harm, claiming victimhood, or continuing to belittle the Survivor through communication tied to children or shared finances.
• Financial control: Withholding child support or alimony, ruining the Survivor’s credit, or refusing to comply with court-ordered payments.
• Stalking and surveillance: Monitoring the Survivor’s movements through technology, tracking them physically, or using others to report on their whereabouts and actions.

These ongoing tactics take a heavy toll on Survivors’ mental health. For many, leaving the abuser is only the beginning of a new chapter of fear and intimidation. It’s not uncommon for Survivors to feel like they can never truly move on, as post-separation abuse keeps them tethered to the trauma. The emotional exhaustion of constantly fighting these battles leaves little room for healing.

The Unseen Trauma in Children

Children exposed to domestic violence, whether they experienced abuse directly or witnessed it, carry these scars into adulthood. They may develop anxiety, depression, or behavioral issues, as their sense of safety and trust was shattered at a formative age. Children from abusive homes may struggle to form healthy relationships, becoming either overly dependent on others or emotionally detached.

For some, the trauma can result in dissociation—a mental escape from the reality of their environment—or they may adopt survival mechanisms that persist long after the danger has passed. Children may also face manipulation by the abusive parent after separation, being used as pawns to continue controlling the Survivor or distorting the child’s understanding of the abuse.

The Overlooked Victims: Pets

Pets are often silent witnesses to domestic violence and, in many cases, victims themselves. Abusers frequently harm or threaten to harm pets as a means of control, knowing how much their victims care for these beloved companions. For Survivors, the fear of what might happen to their pets can prevent them from leaving an abusive situation.

Even after escaping, the trauma of leaving a pet behind—or knowing the pet was harmed—can compound the Survivor’s grief and guilt. Pets provide emotional support and comfort, and losing that bond during an already traumatic period adds another layer of pain to the Survivor’s mental health struggles.

Healing and Moving Forward

Survivors need ongoing support and understanding as they navigate the mental and emotional effects of both the abuse they endured and the post-separation abuse they may still face. Recovery is not linear, and healing takes time. There are many agencies and resources available to provide that support, helping Survivors regain control of their lives by offering resources that address not only immediate safety but long-term mental health and well-being.

This World Mental Health Day, let us remember that domestic violence is not just a physical assault—it is an attack on the mind, heart, and spirit. Survivors, children, and even pets deserve the opportunity to heal from these invisible wounds. By supporting Survivors and raising awareness of the lasting mental health effects of domestic violence, we can create a world where no one has to suffer in silence.