Leaving an abusive relationship is one of the bravest and most dangerous steps a Survivor can take. At Control Alt Delete, we understand the complexity and fear involved in this decision. If you’re beginning to plan your escape, this guide is here to help you prepare thoughtfully and safely—because you deserve freedom, dignity, and support.

🌟 Before You Leave: Safety First

1. Create a Safety Plan
A personalized safety plan can make a critical difference.

Think through:

• The safest time to leave (when your abuser is away, asleep, or distracted).

• A route to leave undetected (avoiding shared vehicles, security cameras, etc.).

• A trusted friend, shelter, or organization who knows your plan.

2. Prepare an Emergency Bag
Hide it somewhere safe (with a friend, at work, or in a secure place outside the home).

Include:

• Identification: driver’s license, birth certificates (yours and children’s), Social Security cards.

• Legal documents: protective orders, immigration papers, court documents.

• Financial access: cash, a credit/debit card in your name, checkbook if possible.

• Keys: to your home, car, workplace, storage unit.

• Medication: at least a week’s supply of prescriptions.

• Essentials: phone and charger, clothes for a few days, toiletries, important contact numbers written down.

• Water and nonperishable snacks.

📄 Why Documentation Matters

Report the Abuse
Even if the legal system feels overwhelming, having the abuse documented can be a powerful layer of protection later. Police reports, protective orders, or records from hospitals and therapists can:

• Help secure custody of children.

• Strengthen your case if the abuser seeks retaliation.

• Make you eligible for certain survivor services and protections.

If you’re not ready to make a formal report, consider:

• Visiting a doctor or ER and asking them to note injuries.

• Speaking with an advocate or counselor who can document your situation confidentially.

🚩 What to Expect After You Leave

Leaving can escalate the danger.

Abusers often react with:

• Increased aggression or stalking.

• Manipulation through mutual friends or family.

• False reports to police or CPS.

• Financial sabotage or threats.

Be prepared:

• Alert law enforcement in your new area if you’ve filed reports.

• Change passwords, block the abuser on social media, and consider a new phone number.

• Speak with an advocate about a protective order if you don’t have one yet.

• Let your children’s schools, daycares, and your workplace know not to share information.

💬 Gentle Truths About the Abuser’s Circle

It’s heartbreaking, but some people close to your abuser may not believe you.

They may:

• Dismiss your experience (“They’d never do that!”).

• Pressure you to reconcile.

• Try to extract information about your location or plans.

Your safety comes first. Limit what you share with mutual contacts, and lean on trusted individuals who support your autonomy and healing.

❤️ You Are Not Alone

At Control Alt Delete, we’ve been right where you are. Whether you’re ready to leave today or just starting to imagine a different future, you deserve compassion and a clear path forward.

Need help now?
Call 911 or visit your local police department, prosecutor office or Family Advocacy Center to connect with an advocate.