A Survivor’s Story: Finding Hope After Escaping Financial and Domestic Abuse

At Control Alt Delete, we share Survivors’ Stories to remind every Survivor of domestic violence that you are not alone in what is happening to you. Each story represents courage, heartbreak, and the powerful steps taken toward freedom and healing.

The Day I Escaped

After escaping from my abuser, money was incredibly tight. For years, he never paid a single cent in child support. On top of that, he had racked up insurmountable debt in my name — debt I never agreed to and could never have imagined trying to repay.

The day my children and I escaped, I opened a bank account in my name only. It might sound like a small thing, but it felt monumental. That account represented independence — the first piece of a life free from control and fear.

A Moment of Hope Turned to Heartbreak

Since then, I had been working two jobs, doing everything I can to rebuild stability for my children. There was one week I’ll never forget — I finally felt a sense of relief. For the first time in so long, I was going to be able to buy food for my kids and the medicine I needed to stay alive. Far too often, it had been one or the other, and as any mom would, I always chose my children first.

I went to the grocery store that week filled with hope. I planned to surprise my kids with their favorites — pancake mix and fresh blueberries with syrup, lunch meat instead of another peanut butter and jelly day, and ingredients for homemade meatball subs for dinner. It might sound simple, but to us, it would feel like joy.

But when I got to the checkout, my card was declined. I tried again. Declined. My heart sank. I couldn’t understand it — my paycheck had just been deposited. I was so grateful my kids weren’t with me to see this.

I went straight to the bank — Bank of America — to find out what had happened. What they told me didn’t seem possible:

“Your husband came in and added his name to your account.”

I was stunned. I explained that we were separated — that this was an account I had opened after escaping. But they said it didn’t matter. He had somehow convinced them to give him access. A narcissist has a way of convincing people to do things.

He emptied every dime — and even overdrew the account.

This was the father of my children. The person who was supposed to love and protect them. He didn’t just take from me — he took from them. He did it because he had to hurt me more than he loved them.

I had no money for food, no way to buy my medicine, and no safety net left. The bank refused to correct their mistake. I was completely drained — emotionally, financially, and physically — but I refused to give up.

Financial Abuse After Escape

What happened to me is an example of financial abuse, one of the most common but least understood forms of domestic violence. Abusers use money to control, punish, and trap their victims. Even after escaping, Survivors can face impossible challenges — from stolen accounts to ruined credit to systems that fail to protect them.

Financial abuse doesn’t always stop when the relationship ends. Sometimes, it continues through every loophole and every institution that looks the other way.

Rebuilding One Step at a Time

That day at the grocery store was one of the lowest points in my journey — but it wasn’t the end. I found strength I didn’t know I had.  And step by step, I began rebuilding my life again, this time on a foundation of strength, not fear.

If you’re living through something similar, please know this: you are not alone. What’s happening to you is not your fault. There are people and organizations who understand and will stand beside you as you take your next steps to safety.

You Are Not Alone

At Control Alt Delete, we make sure Survivors have a way out. If you need to escape have your advocate reach out to Control Alt Delete to submit a referral.  If you do not have an advocate get one. Visit your local Family Advocacy Center, your police department, your prosecutor office.

We share Survivors’ Stories because every story matters. Each one reminds someone else that healing is possible and that freedom can be found after even the darkest days.

How You Can Help

💜 Share your story. Your courage can inspire another Survivor to take that first step toward safety.
💜 Support our mission. Your donation to Control Alt Delete helps us provide escape resources, emergency transportation, and immediate support for Survivors across Arizona and beyond.
💜 Spread awareness. Share this post to remind others that domestic violence and financial abuse are real — and that Survivors deserve safety, justice, and hope.

Together, we can make sure every Survivor knows: You are not alone.