The Shocking Lengths Abusers Will Go: One Survivor’s Story of Control and Destruction
If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “No, they would never do that,” let us be clear: an abuser will do anything to maintain control over their victim. Anything. No matter how cruel, how irrational, or how damaging—even if it means destroying the lives of their own children in the process.
One Survivor told us about the moment she realized just how far her abuser was willing to go.
That day started with a small red flag—one that, in hindsight, screamed danger. When she pulled into the driveway after work, she saw that his car was parked at an odd angle in the garage. It blocked the space where she usually parked, forcing her to leave her own car outside. She thought it was strange but brushed it off.
In the middle of the night, she got the call. The police had found her car, set on fire. Completely destroyed.
What made this more than a random act of vandalism was the fact that her abuser knew she had been quietly planning an escape. He either knew or guessed that her car held vital documents—birth certificates, medical records, financial papers—and irreplaceable sentimental belongings belonging to their children. All of it, reduced to ash.
He didn’t care that it was his children’s keepsakes in that car. He didn’t care about the hardship this would cause them. His only goal was to destroy her ability to leave and to punish her for daring to try.
This is the reality of coercive control. It’s calculated. It’s deliberate. And it’s relentless.
If you ever think, “No, they would never do that”—you are wrong. Abusers will do everything they can to destroy the Survivor’s independence, confidence, and hope. They will burn bridges, burn belongings, and even burn the lives of the people they claim to love.
And this is why Control Alt Delete exists: to help Survivors escape even when the abuser tries to take everything from them. We understand because we have lived it.
Because freedom is worth fighting for—and Survivors deserve a life where safety isn’t something they have to beg for, but a reality they can live every day.
