Whose Voice Is That? Recognizing the Inner Critic That Keeps You From Healing
We all have an inner voice — that quiet whisper (or sometimes a loud shout) that questions our worth, our choices, and our abilities. It says things like “You’ll never be good enough,” “You always mess things up,” or “Why even try?”
But have you ever stopped to ask yourself: whose voice are you really hearing?
For many Survivors of domestic violence, that inner critic isn’t their own. It’s the echo of someone who worked hard to make them doubt themselves — a parent, a spouse, a partner, a supervisor, or even a so-called friend.
When Self-Doubt Isn’t Yours to Carry
The people who cause self-doubt are often the same people who caused harm. They may have said cruel things to control, diminish, or isolate you. Over time, their words became so familiar that they blended into your thoughts — making it hard to tell where their abuse ends and your true self begins.
But here’s the truth:
Those voices were never meant to help you grow.
They were meant to keep you small, afraid, and dependent.
Recognizing that the self-critical words looping in your mind don’t belong to you is a powerful step toward healing. It’s how you begin to take back your identity and your confidence — one thought at a time.
Healing Starts With Awareness
When you catch yourself thinking, “I can’t do this” or “I don’t deserve better,” pause and ask:
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Whose voice is this?
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When did I first hear these words?
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Do I believe this because it’s true — or because I was told to believe it?
Challenging that inner dialog is part of the recovery process. It takes time, compassion, and patience. But each time you recognize that your inner critic sounds more like your abuser than yourself, you take another step toward freedom.
You Deserve to Be Your Own Voice
At Control Alt Delete, we help Survivors restart their lives free from abuse — not just physically, but emotionally. Escaping an abusive situation is only the first step; silencing the echoes of abuse is the ongoing journey of healing.
If you or someone you know is struggling to quiet the voice of self-doubt left behind by abuse, know this: you are not broken — you were wounded. And wounds can heal.
Your voice deserves to be kind. Your thoughts deserve to be safe. And your future deserves to be free.
